Could you tell me a time you survived?

I think the crux of this question is acknowledging that you have been through something you have found difficult and overcome that difficulty. Whilst it might not have been glorious or at all enjoyable the fact that it has passed, you have survived and life goes on is bloody amazing!

This is something I try to remind myself when thinking of my failed suicide attempt when I was nineteen. Coming to terms with my mental health as opposed to ignoring it and thinking it was ‘just me’ that dealt with these difficult emotions badly.

To have taken the decision to give up and for it not to work out is embarrassing and something I find hard to discuss when I’m sober. Wrestling with these emotions is difficult because I don’t fully understand them and to some extent never will.

This is the beauty of life and I’m thankful I can’t always figure everything out because it gives me something to strive for. As I get older and reflect on that moment I consider all the opportunities I would have been throwing away, all the moments I would have missed; from great moments with great people to absolute shockers and ex girlfriends. It’s safe to say, In hindsight everyone brings a smile to my face.

It leads me to reflect on life, it’s beauty, it’s mystery, it’s improbability. It’s that against all odds essence of life that touches me the most. The chances of you, out of billions, being the special one to make it where you are today! No one else has done that. Guaranteed.

I often envisage myself as an old man reflecting on a full life. A collection of moments, memories and experiences. I enjoy the thought of sharing these, even if only through my very existence.

As I get older my sense of perspective widens every day and I hope it continues to do so. Allowing me to clarify the direction I would like to be heading in, wherever that may be.

It’s such a wonderful life, it would be a shame to miss it!