Could you tell me a time you procrastinated?

It might sound like a very banal problem, but it’s actually something I struggle with very often. I always do things at the very last possible minute. And I’m not just talking about essays at university or cleaning my flat, it’s also about texting people back, calling someone, doing favors or even things I just want to do for myself like playing piano or painting.

 But why? 

I’m absolutely not a lazy person and it’s not about me not enjoying the stuff I have or want to do.

 So, what’s my problem?

I always want to do everything perfectly. When I have to text someone back, I want to take my time to read through his or her message attentively and reply with a well formulated and interesting message. When I have to write an essay, I don’t just want to write a normal essay. It has to be perfect, longer than anyone else’s and with a well constructed layout. When I want to play piano, I want to play it for at least two hours to learn a demanding new song and play it flawlessly. When I want to paint a picture, it has to be the most beautiful and meaningful picture I’ve ever painted.

And in the end of that I do none of all these things, because I set the expectations about myself way to high. It comes to a point that I don’t enjoy any of these things anymore, and by that time it just feels like pressure. Sometimes I even disappoint people, which is the worst consequence. And because I’m so embarrassed and I think I have to do so much to make up for it, I do… right! Nothing!

A vicious circle!

I think the only way out is to be comfortable with imperfection. None of my friends will be disappointed because my message is a little bit boring, but they will if I just don’t reply.