Could you tell me a time you felt committed?

I have no reason to be unhappy. I have a path carved out for me; good upbringing, good school, good university, good job. It’s involved a bit of hard work as well but overall a lot of things have been put on a plate for me and all I have to do is take the opportunity. This somehow makes me feel much worse, like I haven’t made the most of the opportunities. People will think ‘what’s he complaining about?’ but that pressure isn’t as great as the expectation you put on yourself when you’re disappointed for not being able to make the most of or enjoy what you have. For example, I was constantly told that at university I would have the best time of my life. I really didn’t. Could I have taken another path? Well yes, I could have, but at the same time I really couldn’t. I think that having a path carved out for you means that you aren’t truly free. Not because of the expectations of your parents or teachers who have worked hard for you but because of the expectation from within that tells you to take advantage of it.A quote from an old rugby coach particularly sticks in my mind; in the end of the day it’s not what other people think of you but what you think of yourself.”

I have always been told that to be happy in life you have tospend time doing the things you enjoy doing. Get a job you enjoy, spend time with the people you love and study the subject you are interested in, not necessarily the one you’re good at. These things are all there for you to enjoy, after all why else would they exist? However, it isn’t so simple when you are afraid of your own enjoyment. I’ve always somehow managed to distance myself from the things I enjoy most and the people I want to spend more time with. It’s not like I try to, I guess it’s a natural reaction I have or a kind of protection mechanism I possess. But why? What’s the point in avoiding things that are good for you? What does it tell me about myself? I think that if you enjoy something you will stick with it, but for me, this means I will be missing out on every other aspect of life. I find it hard to fathom that I have to miss out on other things, but that’s all a choice is isn’t it? You go with one option and miss out on all the other experiences that you could have. I’ve slowly come to realise that that’s the essence of growing up, just making choices. However, now I have to realise that there’s no point in making a decision without wholeheartedly committing to it and being thankful that I had the choice in the first place. It is folly to regret the experiences that you missed out on. So, when making a decision I have to ask myself ‘am I just committing to my path or am I truly committing to myself?