Could you tell me a time you felt self doubt?

I never liked to admit I had a fear of failing, I saw myself as a very optimistic person who thought you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. It wasn’t until I really started working on myself that I realised I wasn’t following my own advice. I began to realise self doubt was eating away at me, limiting my life to the point I was so scared to try new things incase I wasn’t good enough.

I had to get real with myself and admit to this instead of making excuses. As a child I never really had any hobbies I stuck to or anything I would say I was really good at. I was the oldest child in my family I had always loved caring for my younger brothers and cousins, I knew I’d end up in a caring job role and I must have been right as I’m now a care worker in a children home for children with special needs. However I definitely think my belief of not having a “real talent” at a very young age had a huge effect on my self doubt. Looking back I have a early childhood memory of my dad and brother playing football in the garden, I went to join in the game of how many kick ups you can do and I couldn’t get passed two! My dad and brother tried to help me but I just couldn’t get it, my dad tried his best to hide his frustration but I could tell he was getting agitated. In the end I gave up, that’s my first memory of feeling like a failure and I hated it, I just felt so stupid.

I then began to realise small things in my life now where self doubt is holding me back. Such as always relying on my boyfriend to cook for us as I’m a rubbish cook compare to him even though I quite enjoy cooking. One time my self doubt really stood out to me was my fear of painting. My boyfriends a artist and works from home so I’m always around him painting, I used to love art as a child yet I was so scared to paint with him incase I was bad at it and embarrassed myself.

Realising these small things really changed my way of thinking leading to a change in my behaviour. I had to make the decision to stop caring so much what people think. I started to really push myself when I felt fear and say yes to more opportunities. I now try things I haven’t done before even if I’m rubbish as it doesn’t matter and you wont get better unless you practice. Like people say feel the fear and did it anyway! Saying yes to opportunities even if I have anxieties is the best decision I’ve ever made. Nearly every time it’s resulted in me having a really good time and feeling a lot better about myself. I still have times I doubt myself and let negative thoughts take over but on the whole my mindset is a lot more positive. You just have to accept you’re not going to be perfect at everything and most importantly don’t take yourself too seriously.